I am not where I want to be.
A few years ago, while at a church function, I approached a fellow member, and asked how he was doing. Instead of giving me the standard I am fine, he looked at me and said, “I am not where I want to be, but I am also not where I used to be”. The member was unware I was recovering from two strokes, and mentally struggled at times in the initial stages. His statement struck me on several fronts. During those early days I was not feeling particularly happy with my recovery, when in fact my recovery was going just fine. My displeasure was because I wasn’t where I used to be prior to my stroke. I was comparing my current state to my pre-stroke state. When in fact, I should have been comparing my then status to the early days of my illness. His statement got me thinking about that; and I came to the realization that I was just fine.
His words also got me thinking about my spiritual status as well. Prior to my illness, my actions said that God was in control on Sunday, but I was in control the other six days. As I went through my recovery and felt God’s hand, my outlook changed. Feeling God’s presence, I realized He was in control every day, and always had been. Somewhere along the way, I lost that. I realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be, because I was just beginning my journey of surrendering to Him and getting to know Him again. Thankfully at the same time, I wasn’t where I used to be — the guy who thought only Sunday was God’s day.
Genesis 28:15 “Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”